Saturday, May 7, 2011


There's a light at the end of the darkness, and they walk towards it hand in hand.

Everything is as it should be.

Last Goodbyes

Stella's funeral was today. Her roomie Harry, Chester, and myself were the only attendees. Stella had no family and very few friends. I can't...I don't understand. They don't even know how she died. They say there were bullet wound, but no bullets. No record of anyone named "Stella MacKenzie" of her approximate age ever being born or existing AT ALL,  ANYWHERE in New Zealand.

I don't...I don't even know anymore. There's something missing, I know there is, a missing puzzle piece that will make all of this make sense, but I get this horrible feeling that I can't know. I can't find out. Stella was like a sister to me, and I know there's more to this than it seems but I'll never know, because I get this feeling that if I find out I'll get myself into something that there's no way of getting out of.

I'm sorry. I can't post here anymore. It was okay when it was just me and Chester being goofy and rambling but I can't do that any more and neither can he.

There's a part of us missing that seems like more than just Stella. It seems big enough for two people, three people, four, like there are others who have gone and I just don't remember them.

I'm sorry. These are our last goodbyes. It was lovely knowing you all, and I wish you all luck in whatever you do. But it's the final curtain for us.

No matter what, I am glad to have known you all, even for such a short time.

Don't forget. I love you all.

--Genevieve Sullivan.

Thursday, May 5, 2011


is dead. We got a call this afternoon, saying "Are you friends of Stella MacKenzie?" and naturally we said yes, and it turns out to be the police saying she was found dead in her apartment by her neighbour this morning. Oh god, I just...I can't process it. Sparky, sassy, belligerent Stella. Our friend. Dead.

It's like the stars have gone out or something. Something that's always there, even if you don't notice it, and now it's gone and all you can see and feel is it's absence.

And there's one thing that bothers me. The police called us because they couldn't track down any of Stella's relatives. They couldn't find any dental or hospital records for her either. It's as if she never existed.

We're going to the funeral tomorrow. Apart from one of her room-mates when she was up in Auckland, Harry, we're the only people attending.

How could this happen? How could she have so few friends, no family, barely any trace of her existence beyond a few scraps of paper and our memories?

I can't even cry anymore. There's no tears left. It isn't enough.

Stella, I hope there's a heaven, because you deserve a place in it.


Wednesday, May 4, 2011


There are fallen leaves everywhere. Not the good kind, either. They're wet and soggy and stuck to the ground and the ones that aren't are just blown this way and that.

I'd hate to be a leaf in the wind. I want to know where I'm headed, to be able to make the choice and not just be at the whim of something more powerful. I can't believe in fate, I guess.

Screw Destiny.


Tuesday, May 3, 2011

When all you see is night

You have to hold the hope in your heart that there will be a dawn.

I've had that phrase circling through my head for ages. Don't know where it came from but it just wouldn't leave me alone.



Friday, April 29, 2011

No Day But Today

Today is one of those days when I love the weather. It's cold, yes, but it's not raining, the sun is out. It's not like sunny days in summer when it's all muggy and humid and horrible.

I love when it's sunny in winter.

I miss Stella, a bit. I've called her a few times since she moved and spoken to her on MSN and she seems to be settling in really well. I know she'll be okay, she's a tough cookie. One of the toughest, full stop.

It'll all be alright, I know it.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Graffiti, pt 2

You know the graffiti I was talking about earlier? It seems to all have been cleaned up. It's not there any more. Pity, I kind of liked it. I think it's nice that whoever's writing it it trying to tell somebody to try to believe. I hope that whoever they were trying to tell got the message, if there was someone in particular.

Our friend Stella is moving down to Wellington. She's been changing a lot lately. Letting her hair grow out, warming up to people, now she's moving again. Pity, she only moved back up here in February but I guess she wasn't happy here. I've told her to keep in touch. She left earlier this week, so we went over to her flat to give her a proper sendoff, with lots of hugs and crying and sentimental shit. She's grown up a lot over the past couple of months and I feel like a parent sending their kid off on their first day of school.

On a lighter note, we made cupcakes today. Chester fell asleep on the couch so I drew on his face with writing icing. x3

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Are you afraid of the dark?

I find it odd that some people are. The dark makes you blind, true, much like ignorance. And I can understand disliking ignorance. If you don't know things, you're blinder than I am without my glasses.

I guess, fear of the dark is fear of ignorance. Which makes sense, I guess.

But nevertheless, sometimes I stand in my window looking outside into the blackness, and I'm not afraid of it, because I know, if I have a light, I can chase it away.

And if I don't have a light?

Night vision. Hehe.


Monday, April 18, 2011


for the absence, one of our friends had a nervous breakdown and we ended up taking care of her for a while. It's been over a week since her little meltdown, and she still hasn't told us what exactly it's about. I know it's something to do with one of her friends going batshit but no more than that. All I know is I get a frantic call from one of her roommates, saying Stella was in a really bad way and could we please, please come and help calm her down, and gave us her address.

So we went over there and calmed her down. We met her two roomates, Frank (the guy who called us) and Harry, who both seemed like pretty nice guys, if really shy and quiet. I spoke to Harry at one point and he looked like a frightened animal the entire time. Jeez, I'm not the bogeyman.

She's been staying with us up until now. She's going back tonight. I've told her if she needs someone to talk to or if she wants anything just to drop us a line.

I hope she's okay. I worry about her.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Broken Appliances.

Our microwave has kicked the bucket. My fault. My eyesight is awful without my glasses (which I had misplaced) and I put something in it and I meant to nuke it for three minutes and instead I did it for thirty. Microwave a splode. Reheated pasta and tuna everywhere, now we don't have a microwave. I insisted Vivi didn't help me clean up but I still feel pretty guilty. We're students, we don't have money to fork out  for new appliances because I'm a stupid Chestdurr and break them.



Monday, April 4, 2011


A good friend of mine (I mentioned her earlier) has been really stressed out lately. Whenever I see her, she looks...tired, I guess. Tired and upset. I don't think she's feeling too good at the moment. I think, if she's free this weekend or next, I'll kick Chess out and invite her over for a girls night. My Co-workers too. We'll eat junk food and watch shitty movies. That kind of thing.


Sunday, April 3, 2011


Sorry we haven't updated, we've been busy. We've had university coursework and some personal stuff eating our lives. Drama, drama, drama, how we love you so.

Keep finding that graffiti. Everywhere. It's taking over Auckland. There's lots of numbers separated by slashes and dashes, lots of "TRYING TO BELIEVE" and "YOU ARE NOT ALONE" (always in either allcaps or all lowercase) and occasionally other words. I see "VERITAS" a lot. "HEAL" as well. There are others, but they escape me at the moment.

I wonder why. Who's putting these words all over the city. Some of it's just chalk scrawling that can be cleaned off with a hose, sometimes it's done in spray paint. I found a really lovely mural in the CBD once. It can't all be the same person.

Who is it?

Wednesday, March 30, 2011


I've been finding some rather interesting graffiti around. Lots of random strings of numbers and bits on binary. The phrases "BELIEVE" and "YOU ARE NOT ALONE" keep cropping up as well. Weird. I normally don't like graffiti...but it seems nice, that somebody's leaving messages to reassure someone all over our city.

I fell over at work and twisted my ankle today. D:

How is everybody?

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


I've been having really weird dreams lately. Nightmares, I guess. What little I remember is horrific enough...I get the feeling I don't want to remember the rest. Don't rain on my parade, dreams. Life is good.

I ran into Stella today. Stella is a good friend of mine, from primary school. She moved away, but she came back, which is nice because I hardly heard from her for all that time. She's really quiet, to the point of being a bit frosty, but she's actually a real sweetheart and I'm glad to have her as a friend. She seemed rather thoughtful. I asked her what she was thinking about, and she blushed and told me it was none of my business.

She's so cute. I'm going to have to find out what (or who! Bwahaha!) she was thinking about sometime.


Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Stars Are Out Tonight

I like watching the sky. Especially when day turns into night and back again. And the stars. Tiny little points of light scattered across a distance so large we can't comprehend. It's beautiful, and a wonderful thought. Billions upon billions of tiny planets out of them has to be able to support life.

Which then eventually leads me to wondering if there isn't other intelligent species out there in space who are pointing and laughing at us.

Vivi tells me I'm paranoid for thinking that. She's probably right.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Introduction Part 2

Uh. Hi. I'm Chester. The other author of this blog. I turned twenty-one around a month ago and I'm also a university student. Other than that there isn't really that much to say about me. I play video games, I read, I goof off with my friends, spend time with Vivi, daydream about finding a cure for the common cold...normal guy stuff really. Nothing particularly unusual.

So how is everyone? I'm telling you about my life, you tell a little about yours. Even if it's about a rock you tripped over this morning.


Thursday, March 24, 2011


I'm Genevieve. Vivi for short. I'm twenty, twenty-one in June.

I don't know why I'm doing this. it's not like random people on the internet are interested in my life anyway. I don't really have anything interesting to blog about. I have a job at a restaurant, a wonderful boyfriend (his name is Chester and he is quite possibly the kindest, sweetest person on earth. I am a lucky, lucky girl.), really good friends, and I get good marks at University. I this urge to start up a blog. Anybody listening?

...Probably not. Oh well.

There's something wrong with my dashboard. It won't load. Stupid ISP screwing my connection over. TVTropes won't load, either. I'll phone them up this afternoon, see what the fuck is going on.